Man Up!

I recently read a CNN article that gave statistics about how men are disconnected from their families and our culture is prolonging adolescence. It gave a stunning statistic that 18-34 year old men spend more time playing video games than 12-17 year old boys. Wow! It said that women are taking the place of men in many areas. At the end of the article it challenged men to "Man-Up."

Seriously...CNN just told us to man up!? It is time that we, as the church, begin to take the lead in this area. The media is constantly bombarding young men with a skewed view of what a man looks and acts like. Shows like Modern Family, According to Jim, and even back to Married with Children portray men as fumbling idiots with zero leadership, lack of intelligence and a total disconnect from their family.

In Acts 2, it talks about how the local church "did life" together. They ate together, worked together, and fellowshipped together. Men, it is time to Man-Up and begin to live according to the example set by the early church. It is time for us to push back against this sad stereotype being broadcast by the current pop culture. We are able to lead. We CAN meet the emotional needs of our families and be fully engaged in those relationships. We have what it takes!! We are not perfect, we may struggle, but we never give up. We are fearless and tireless. We are able because of Him who strengthens us!!!

There are 3 things I think we can do right away to begin taking back some ground.

1.Find a Timothy - Just like Paul, we need to find someone that we can mentor - speaking encouragement into their life. This may be one of your kids, a young person in your family, church, or neighborhood, or just someone that seems like they need some help. We all have a story - areas of struggle, victory and strength that can be used to lift up someone else.

2. Find a Paul - We all need someone in our life to mentor us - helping, encouraging, and lifting us up. We all have areas in our lives that could use some outside wisdom and revelation. Stop worrying about what people think and go find someone that can help you. Don't let your marriage fall apart, don't continue to stumble through the snare of pornography, don't drown under the pressures of work. We are ALL men. We ALL struggle with the same issues. It is only pride that keeps us from sharing them openly with another. Pride keeps us from "confessing our sins to one another, so that we may be healed." (James 5:16) Let's kick pride in the butt and get on with it....

3. Be real - As men, we usually don't like to talk about deep things. We want to talk about the weather, sports, and "man stuff." Talk about our marriage? Kids? Finances? Addictions? No way!! We feel like a failure if we couldn't "handle it" or "fix it" on our own. C'mon....let's say it together....PRIDE! No one can handle it all and fix it all on their own. Some of you are drowning out there but refuse to GET REAL because of pride. Let's get over it and get real. Then we'll see real victory over Satan, our enemy, in this fight for our families, our faith, and our lives.

We are warriors. If a warrior was wounded, but didn't tell anyone and tried to just patch it on their own, that wound would begin to get infected. Eventually it would ooze and puss and stink. Such a wound would quickly end up killing him because he chose to avoid proper treatment. So, be a great and mighty warrior, but get some treatment for your wounds. Remember the Word in James 5:16 says if we confess one to another we are HEALED.

Find a Timothy, find a Paul, get Real, get HEALED and MAN UP!

Handling the Crunch - Part 3

Create a Filter

People seem to have a problem saying no. They end up saying yes to too many things and before they know it they are over booked, over worked, over scheduled, and over tired. One thing that I found is that we need to learn to say "No" and stop making apologies for saying it.

Well, you might be asking, how do I know what to say no to? All the things I say yes to are important, critical, eternal, etc. Well, I challenge you to make yourself a filter. A filter is a list of questions that you can run any decision, event, or request through to help find the right answer for you. We all have priorities, but sometimes are lives don't always reflect them, because we get distracted by good things that take us away from our "top" things, or better things. A filter helps to keep your actions in line with your priorities. It keeps you focused, and keeps you from getting "off track."

Our family priorities are:
1. Being led by the Holy Spirit
2. Family time
3. Peace & Simplicity
4. Relationship Building
5. Healthy Choices (food, sleep, restful schedules, etc.)

For my wife and I we typically use the following questions:
1. Holy Spirit, do you have direction for us in this?
*We check our spirit for any input from the Holy Spirit. We try to be intentional about including the Lord in every decision that we make. Our time = our life, so we believe that God cares how we spend it!! All our other questions come after this one. This is the biggie for us!
2. Does it involve the whole family?
* It is a huge plus if we can all stay together....what can we say...we like each other and we like staying together.
3. Is it simple?
*We value peace and nothing keeps the peace like simplicity!
4. Does it foster relationships? Will this help build friendships, accountability, intimacy, etc.?
*Relationships are worth spending time on.
5. Will we have to compromise our digestive peace? Does this interfere with naptimes or bedtimes?
* Grabbing fast food is NEVER an option for us, and we consider quality over convenience when choosing our food. Sleep is essential to good behavior and strong immune systems in kids and adults. We are protective of our health, but not to the point of rigidity (that's why it's our #5 and not our #1)

This is our filter system. It works really well for us. Each person's filter will and should be different. You cannot adopt someone else's filter - it simply won't work because each family is different. We're not all supposed to be alike. Respect your own priorities by living them out through filters and respect others for doing the same....even if their filter necessitates them saying "No" to something you consider high priority! We are all created unique and have different talents, jobs, skills, families, etc.

So, go ahead and create a filter and start using it to help guide your yes to be a yes and your no to be a no. Start lightening your load and being intentional about what you take on by running it through your filter.

Handling the Crunch Part 2 - Be Where You Are

Distractions are everywhere!! My iphone, my andriod tablet, my laptop, facebook, twitter, sports scores, my jeep, and the list could go on and on. Distractions takes you away from what is right in front of you. This is a HUGE challenge for me. I am like the guy on the commercial that is changing the baby's diaper, while talking on the phone and surfing the internet. I know I am not the only one that struggles with this. God has been walking me through this with the little phrase "Be Where You Are".

Too often we miss the moment! We miss the birthday party (even though we are there) because our mind is somewhere else. Maybe we went to the other room to just "check my email" for a second and get lost for 30 minutes. Many of us are often somewhere else. We are thinking about tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and missing what is right in front of us. If you get caught up in this, you will find that "time flies." The days and weeks and years are a blur and you can't seem to recall much. When you really focus on what is directly in front of you, when you are truly present and engaged in the moment, something wonderful happens. In our house, we call it "slow time." It is a fantastic phenomenon where the day crawls by, and there is lots of time for all that we want to accomplish and then some. We talk, play, work, and live fully engaged and fully together - focused on our relationships in the moments of the day, rather on the line items of our to do list. Funny thing is, the list gets done in the course of it all. Seems that God honors us when we put relationships first which is what "be where you are" is really all about!

Jesus' ministry focused on who was right in front of Him. He focused on the PERSON at hand. In Matthew, the Bible commands us to not worry about tomorrow. So let's stop thinking and worrying about tomorrow because God is already there. Let's start living in the PRESENT because it is a wonderful gift from the Lord.